Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Herbierama review of the year

... and you can see a repeat of Strictly Come Boating on Sunday.   And now, it's December the first, and as a scene setter for the Herbie Awards season coming soon on the Herbie channel, tonight we have a special edition of Herbie-rama featuring a review of the year.  Coming up right after the break.

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Cue Dramatic synthesizer music


Herbie-Rama Review of the year 2010

Hello good evening and welcome to this special edition in which we remind ourselves of the boating events that have shaped Herbie's year.

It all began, as it ended, with a big freeze.  The canal was inches thick with ice and Herbie wasn't going anywhere, but it was DIY time.  Yes, with the help of our viewers readers and the miracle of the Google Sketchup drawing software Herbie got the design for a new folding cratch table which was manufactured and installed later in the year.  But the big DIY plan was for one of the major events of the year.  The Herbie Paintfest.  In this two week makeover special in April featuring a cast of the finest available artisans we saw the boat transformed from a blue, pock marked and scratched body to a shiny grey and grey masterpiece.  While the skies above Heathrow (and Cowley) were clear of aircraft owing to an unpronounceable volcano erupting in Iceland, our expert team worked round the clock with angle grinders, several miles of masking tape and tins and tins of paint.  The only relief came from the fact that it co-incided with the Wetherspoon's Beer festival forcing us to make nightly trips into Uxbridge to ensure the quality of the beer.

The rest of the spring continued without incident until Herbie made her maiden outing in her new livery.  This time to attend the IWA cavalcade at Little Venice, where she was well and truly outdone by all the posh boats in Brownings Pool.  Hmmph!

June saw the first of our only two lengthy cruises in 2010 when we climbed the mighty Chilterns in search of the mystical city of Milton Keynes.  On the way some serious research was done into locating new hostelries to nominate for the Herbie pub of the year award.  The return journey was broken with a couple of lengthy stops in which Herbie's magnificent  passable new signwriting was completed and another half a mile of masking tape consumed.

For the remainder of the summer. Herbie lay resting like an unemployed actor while her owners stayed near home waiting for their daughter's hospitalisation which actually didn't happen until September.  Hmmph again!  The gap was filled by . . more DIY of course.    New domestic batteries, new LED lighting and a solar panel, complete with novelty tilting frame.

And so to cruise number two, in which we travelled the entire lengths of the Lee and Stort, Herbie's engine all but caught fire and we had a city break in London.

So there's our background for the Herbie Awards.  A year featuring limited cruising  (and nowhere new) but a lot of artisanery.  Pundits expect this years awards to have a drop or two of oil or paint and sawdust on them.  Will they be right?

You can see the 2010 Herbie Awards series starting soon on this channel.

Roll credits
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Advert:

Film of lots of people dancing around a telephone shouting "We buy any boat" and other inaudible phrases
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 Announcer:

And now another chance to see  a three year old episode of QI . . . .

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can your pals in the BBC not put you on screen - it would be so much better than the average twee boating programmes that crop up from time to time!

Hugely enjoyable post as always.

Sue, Indigo Dream

Simon said...

Nurse! Nurse! He's out of bed again!

;-)

VallyP said...

Neil, your posts become more entertaining by the ...ermm...post? Excellent!