Did you see on the news this week that less people are buying ebooks and more people are buying paperbacks? Well it’s a good job my new book A Good Hiding is coming out in both formats then. Yes, it’s out today!! Hurry to get yours while the (infinite) stocks last.
The paperback thing is an eye opener. It takes a lot more work to get it print ready; everything has to be the right size and shape and all that, then Amazon convert it to a pdf which they can print on demand. They still come post free next day if you are a Prime member. The actual cost of printing is £3.26 they tell me, then there’s postage and Amazon’s profit margin, then my royalty. Had I priced the book at £5.49 which is what I first tried, my royalty would have been £0.03. Yes three measly pence! Now I’m not aiming to get rich, but that did seem derisory, so I’ve upped the price to £5.99 of which I get 33 pence. The Kindle version is £1.99 right now.
Anyhow, here’s the blurb.
Mild mannered Careers Officer Eric has a magnetic personality. Unfortunately for him, his magnet is the kind that attracts trouble. He’s in hiding so that he doesn’t get one – a hiding that is. He narrowly escaped a beating just before Christmas by fleeing his adversaries, falling down stairs and injuring himself instead. Eric is unlucky that way. Now, without so much as a phrase book, he’s been packed off up to Sunderland, ostensibly to find out how to do careers advice in a place where there are no jobs, but really to keep him safe from the murderous Hatton. Hatton is the last uncaptured member of the criminal gang accidentally discovered by poor Eric, and as the main witness for the prosecution, Eric is the man Hatton needs to silence.
Of course the police are on the case, but as they are led by the muttonheaded Chief Superintendent Cosgrove, that only makes matters worse.
Stranded in Sunderland without his beloved guitar to keep him sane, Eric remembers the advice his girlfriend gave him before he set off to the frozen North.
“Keep away from amorous older women and heavyweight wrestlers and find yourself a cheap car.”
Well one out of three wasn’t too bad. The car was a proper bargain. He used it to flee back south where it‘s warmer. Unfortunately for Eric, that’s when it all got much much too hot. Was he on a hiding to nothing?
As you can tell, it’s another intellectual psychodrama in the style of Tolstoy or Enid Blyton like the last book. I think it’s fair to say that the women in it are superior to the men, so ladies might appreciate it. Bits of it make me laugh anyway and my test readers have been kind enough to say it was a fun read. For canal enthusiasts there’s a hidden bonus theme which I will leave you to discover for yourselves. Should you be bold enough to give it a go, please think about leaving a review on Amazon especially if you liked it.
“How do I get one?”, I hear you ask. Just follow this link. or Google for Amazon Herbie Neil A Good Hiding. I haven’t even got one myself yet, so you could be the first.
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